#126 I must leave

Lídia de Oliveira
2 min readAug 4

Before I love you

image available at pixabay.com

Last time I saw you I knew
This has to end
I have to stop reaching you
I have to stop talking to you

Because I don’t know
If it’s boredom or lust
Love or dependency
Craving or desiring

What I know is that I think of you
Many many many mornings
and nights, oh the nights…
Specially warm sea breeze summer nights

I get all cranky when you’re not around
But at the same time
I don’t want to see you when you come back
And I’m relieved when you go

This kind of mixed up fucked up feeling
That messes me up inside
Makes me unstable and sad
But happy as a butterfly when you smile

I don’t want this for me
and I feel bad
for occuping my heart and head
with this meaningless conjecture
of what if Neverland

I’m afraid I might love you
or starting to
or already

So I must leave
I must go
Before I do.
Before you know.

Lídia de Oliveira

Poet, family doctor and fitness instructor. Seeker of meaning, passion and creativity. Do you dare bringing poetry back with me?